Phone Sex is a fun and flirty way to turn up the heat in a long distance relationship or to explore kink. However, it is important to remember that it may not be an option for everyone.
Sexting, flirty text messages, and short, flirty calls are all good ways to gauge your partner’s interest and set the stage for phone sex.
1. Know Your Limits
Whether you’re in a long-distance relationship or trying out phone sex for the first time, it’s essential to be aware of your own limits. For example, if you’re not comfortable sending nude photos, it’s important to communicate that to your partner before you start phone sex.
Also, it may help to plan a little bit for your phone sex session so that you’re both ready and excited. This could include things like charging your phone, getting a good night’s sleep, and wearing lingerie. You might even want to consider breaking out sex toys, as they can boost pleasure and provide a whole new level of stimulation on the phone.
Unsurprisingly, great phone sex starts with a conversation. Michels recommends being “frank and transparent” when broaching the subject, so that you can be sure you’re both in agreement. This can mean having a direct chat where you straight up ask for enthusiastic consent, or it can be as simple as dropping a flirty hint and seeing what happens from there. Either way, make sure that you’re both able to opt in or out at any time.
2. Don’t Be Afraid To Go Dirty
As with actual sex, phone sex is an intimate space where you can explore sexual fantasies. It’s okay to take things a step further over the phone than you would in person, especially if your partner is up for it.
However, if you and your partner are new to this, it’s typically smart to start off slow. You can moan softly, flirt or act coy to build up sexual tension. You might even use sex toys to add to the pleasure.
Just be sure to use caution when using sex toys on the phone. If you aren’t careful, you could end up with an unexpected injury. Likewise, make sure you use the right phone setting to prevent accidental calls or interruptions from others. It’s also a good idea to have a private place for the session. That way, you’ll be able to focus entirely on your partner and the phone sex. Also, if you don’t have privacy in mind, you might feel uncomfortable, and that can quickly turn the phone sex into an awkward experience.
3. Don’t Forget About Toys
When it comes to phone sex, there are many ways that you can spice things up. One way is to use toys. Whether it’s a vibrator or a dildo, toys can be very effective in turning up the heat over the phone.
Another way to spice up phone sex is by role-playing. This can be very arousing for both parties. You can also talk dirty, imagining scenarios over the phone.
Of course, you should always ask for consent before engaging in phone sex. This may mean dropping a hint that it’s in the cards or a more direct chat about whether they’re into it.
To make sure that you have the best possible experience, you should also take steps to set the mood. This can include putting on sexy music, lighting candles, and more. Also, make sure to turn off any distractions like your phone’s ringer or laptop. Nothing will kill the mood faster than a text or work email interrupting your phone sex.
4. Take It Slow
When it comes to phone sex, it’s totally normal for things to feel awkward sometimes. Don’t let that derail your session, though. Just breathe deeply, take your time, and remember that it’s not so much about talking dirty as it is getting your partner turned on.
Describe how you want to touch them, stroke them, and kiss them. The more vivid you are with your descriptions, the better. And don’t forget to use your deep voice, as this is more erotic than a high-pitched monotone.
Choosing a scenario beforehand can help you know what to say, but don’t read off a script that you’ve written. It will sound fake and make it harder to get feedback from your partner. Also, a script doesn’t give you the flexibility to go where the conversation takes you. Remember that consent isn’t something that you only give at the beginning of sex; it’s something that continues to be provided throughout the process, and it’s okay to change your mind at any point. Just don’t let a bad apple ruin it for the rest of us.
5. Be Flexible
Whether you’re in a long-distance relationship or you’re just looking for a new way to pleasure yourself, phone sex can be a hot and satisfying experience. But like any sexual encounter, it’s important to be flexible and follow your instincts.
Remember that great phone sex involves more than just a few dynamite “lines.” It’s about describing in detail what you want your partner to do to you and then encouraging them to make it happen. It’s also about using a lot of active verbs, including suck, twist, stroke, tickle, and push, to help stimulate your partner’s-and your own-imagination.
You can also break out your fave sex toys during the call to add a tactile element to the call. And don’t forget that you can always stop the call at any time, and it’s completely okay to do so. Just because something isn’t working out doesn’t mean it can’t work out later on. Just make sure to get consent before beginning phone sex. And, of course, never leave your phone unattended. Your roommates or family members might hear your conversation!